Where are we headed in society when accountability is all but a forgotten notion?

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I arrived to pick our son up from his Saturday preschool class, and were welcomed by the teacher with an incident report. She was clearly shaken and angered, and dismayed at the events that had transpired in class. This is what occurred.

A young boy who had joined the class for the term, has already identified himself as somewhat of a bully by taking toys from other kids, being anti-social, and generally acting like a little brat. That day, after some other incidents, he had targeted my son, and punched him in the chest for no reason other than he felt like it. The teacher intervened immediately, and told the brat to stop it. He reached out again to hit, and the teacher grabbed his arm and pulled him aside immediately. The child then went ape on the teacher, screaming, and biting, and scratching her arm. She was forced to hold him tightly while defending herself with the other arm, and called the parents to pick him up that moment.

Monster child is three years old.

The parents arrived, and the preschool teacher told them what their child had done, and showed them the injuries he had inflicted with his teeth and nails. She was scratched and bleeding in several places, and clearly outraged that this child felt this was normal behavior, and that the other children had been witness to it.

What was the parents reaction? Nothing. In fact, she said , their non-chalant attitude towards it all was more alarming than the child behavior. The father simply shrugged it off, and didn’t even make any effort to apologise to the teacher for his sons actions. Worse yet, he didn’t make the child apologise either. To further emphasize the arrogant attitude, he felt his son was being wronged by being kicked out of the class!!! The parents complained to the facility management and had the child re-instated, although they never did show up again, as they were told they would have to stay in the class as well.

How indicative this incident is, of how so many children are being raised in this current generation, and how it speaks to attitudes that  seem to be prevailing in both parenting and law. This kid is on the road to bigger trouble, and It frightens me to think of what is going on in that home to enable a three year old to think this violent behavior is OK, and should be tolerated.

More and more, we see cases before the courts where accountability is passed over in favor of weak excuses and admonishments of contriteness, and the result is the same idiot back before the same judge a few months, weeks or days later. Recent changes to the Youth Justice Act  back this sentiment  up – lets all feel sorry for the kids because they don’t have the ability to tell right from wrong.No moral fibre or compass to guide them.

 Bullshit. I am the parent to two teens, and no one is going to tell me that they don’t both possess an inherent knowledge of rightness and common sense. I should know, I taught them from the day they were old enough to understand my words. Even my three year old knows whats right and wrong, although his judgement at three is obviously still in the works…hence, he also knows the meaning of punishment, making things rights, and apologising for wrongs committed.

If, as a society , we continue to mollycoddle  children, and criminals, from a young age through the system, we are setting ourselves up for extreme failure. We have disillusioned police officers in every force, having become that way  after repeatedly seeing the criminals they do catch set free time after time.  We have judges who fail to see the damage done when passing on light or nominal sentences with no lasting consequence. We have a charter of rights and freedoms that has been used in such ways as to make a complete mockery of its creation. Crook gets knocked over by a car trying to get away? Excessive force. Police dog bites robber? Lets shout brutality ! Tough, maybe the misfit will think twice next time before reaching for his knife. While I am clearly against outright police abuse and misguided weaponry regulations(or lack thereof, in the case of the taser), the line has to be drawn somewhere. You get what you give out.

We are becoming a society scared into silence and submission, one where the righteous and true have been pushed to the side in favour of crime and easy money. How can we change it? I think it begins at home, within ourselves, and our children. Teach them well, and decide for yourself what is acceptable or not. Set an example for them that they can model their behavior on. Step in when you need to, even when they are teens. Kids need rules, and restrictions, along with the freedom to grow and develop. That’s your job as a parent, and yes, it is a job, not just a single act of insemination or birth.  No kid ever died from being grounded or on restrictions, and yes its OK if they think you are ruining their life when you do it. They will thank you later on in life, and so will society.

Something to think about, and more to come later when I have more time.

This entry was posted in Laila Yuile and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Where are we headed in society when accountability is all but a forgotten notion?

  1. Janet T. says:

    I definitely agree with everything you said in your article. Hopefully, the parents of the child you mentioned will have an opportunity to read your thought provoking piece. On a side note, we have been looking for a preschool that operates on a Saturday for a very long time. Would you be able to give us any information on preschools that operate on Saturdays.


  2. lailayuile says:

    Welcome Janet!

    I’ve sent you an email with some direction, and hope it helps. Do come again!

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