Love life risk

Sometimes, I’m such a geek, and I know it. I’m ok with that now, really, I am. I love weather- storms, hail, wind , waves…. anything intense and wild and scary – I’m so into it… The stormier it gets, the more alive I feel. Mis-created perhaps, sometimes I yearn to fly free like a gull on the wind, soaring  and diving amidst the tumultuous currents of air and space.

Today we were out at the  bird sanctuary and as the day progressed,a large storm cell moved in from the west. It approached with the stealth of a hunter, and the stillness of the low pressure system mixed with the sound of distant thunder was not unlike the warning growl of a feral cat stalking its prey. With the heavy black clouds moving in fast, we hastened back to the parking lot amidst a sudden temperature drop that created puffs of frosty clouds from our breathe. While most were fleeing the storm, I alone seemed to  yearn to run back towards it to meet it and embrace the fury, and reluctantly, I was coaxed into the car.

Not unlike my two year old with my face pressed against the clammy glass of the car window as we pulled away, looking back and trying to catch every single flash of lightening, every swirl of cloud burgeoning with tempestuous drops of rain….I wanted so much to be out there, in the wind and rain and threat of god knows what, feeling all the fury of natures wrath in my hair and upon my skin… but said nothing, knowing I alone felt this need.  We drove home, and the entire time all I could think about was getting out to sit and watch the storm, and be in it, almost become a part of it.

I’m not afraid to die. I’ve been so close, it holds no fear for me.

Why is it some people will pay stormchasers to take them to the heart of tornado alley, knowing full well they might meet their maker, while others unplug all the appliances, stay away from the phone and stock up on candles?

Fear.

Fear nothing,for tomorrow might be your last. Enjoy every drop of rain upon your skin, every ray of sun, embrace all of the noise, and mess, and love, your children bring you, because you never really know when its going to be over. What’s to say you won’t be killed tomorrow by an errant driver on the way to work, or find out that “thing” bugging you on your back isn’t melanoma that’s too far gone to save you? You don’t know, and that’s my point.

When was the last time you really enjoyed the smell of the earth after a hard rain, or the taste of a warm tomato freshly picked from your own garden, or the  beauty of the freckles on the face of your son or daughter?  Open your eyes, embrace all your senses, really taste your food, not just eat it. See your loved ones as if you were going to lose your sight, enjoy the sound of their voices and laughter, as if you might go deaf. Make love with your eyes open, giving and taking in the sensualness of  it all  and take time to smell the flowers, the fresh baked bread or the dirty shoes…..lol…. You might be surprised at what you have been missing, or would miss, if it were gone……

I’m Laila Yuile and this is how I see it.

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