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‘Twas the night before Christmas….’

… Passed on by a dear friend 😉

‘Twas the night before Christmas…

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the land,
Pipelines ran everywhere
Exactly as planned.
LNG sat in stockpiles
On the shores of the bay
Just waiting for tankers
To haul them away.
Princess Christy was lying
All snug in her bed,
While visions of revenue
Danced in her head.
When she heard jolly laughter
Her eyes opened wide
And then she heard jingle bells
From somewhere outside.
She threw on her slippers
And leaped out of bed.
Slammed open the window
And stuck out her head.
Slowly she scanned
The night sky so clear
And spied a flying red sleigh
Drawing ever so near.
And as she looked closer
She couldn’t believe
That driving the sleigh
Was Prime Minister Steve.
She stood there surprised
Disbelieving the sight
“Stephen Harper is Santa?
That doesn’t seem right.
“He lied to the country
That wasn’t too nice.
He cut Veterans’ Affairs,
Prorogued parliament, twice!
“He filled up the senate
With corruption and sleaze,
And an ounce of integrity…?
For somebody…? Please…?”
He set down in the yard,
From the sled he jumped clear
And said, “Hello Princess Christy,
Have you been good this year?”
“I have been,” said Christy
With all joy and glee,
“I see your great bag,
Is there something for me?”
“Of course there is, Christy,
We’re the ruling elite,
That means we get everything
Isn’t that sweet?”
Christy thought quickly,
“I want gas wells and mines
But there’s all these tree huggers
With their sad, plaintive whines.”
“You go ahead Christy
And mine all you please,
You don’t like tree huggers?
I’ll get rid of the trees.”
“Oh thanks, Santa Stevie,”
Said Christy with glee.
“Now there’s more money
For my rich friends and me!”
“My work is done here,”
Declared Santa Steve,
“So much to deliver,
You wouldn’t believe.
“Duffy wants money,
Brazeau wants slack,
Bieber needs a new shirt,
Rob Ford wants more crack.”
“Will I see you again?”
Asked Christy so sad,
“Next year I may need you
If the economy’s bad.”
“I won’t be back Christy,”
He said with a sob,
“Come the election next Fall,
I’ll be out of a job.”
Then as he jumped in his sleigh
And flew out of sight
He said,
“But my pension’s secure,
So I’ll be alright…”
by Matt Haddrell
Have a Merry Christmas
and all the best in the New Year

11 Comments on ‘Twas the night before Christmas….’

  1. Lol! Very clever! Merry Christmas indeed!


  2. Me and my squeeze really got a good laugh as I read aloud the verses.
    Happy Merry New Christmas Year!


  3. Haha! Yes, this received a huge round of laughter as I read it out loud here as well!


  4. Absolutely loved the poem. A poem which ought to be sent out everywhere! How true, how true.


  5. Shared this with everyone I know,great job,kudos to the author!

    Saw this on the Huff, congratulations!!! Always appreciate you take time to interact with everyone,some reporters won’t.

    Best of the new year to you and I always look forward to new stories.Got anything coming on China in the new year?


  6. Love Love Love Love! So funny but disturbing too, Santa Stevie? blech!


  7. Congratulations to Matt. Well done — and fun!

    I was hoping for one more verse… but I’ll keep it PG.


    • Thanks G. Barry Stewart, and everyone one else, for your kind words. Funny you mention wanting one more verse, I wanted one more verse too. I really wanted a verse about Christy writing Santa Steve a letter, but the letter couldn’t be delivered due to postal service cutbacks, but I couldn’t get the rhythm to work and I was rushed- I wanted it on my Facebook on Christmas Eve, I started writing at five thirty and by eight I wanted it up, and I just ran out of time, next year I guess.


  8. And today is the 10 Anniversary of the Raid on the BC Legislature.
    Happy Anniversary, Christy!


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