After so many months of not blogging,it feels weird to be even drafting a new post-it doesn’t flow smoothly and after several attempts this is how I’ll just start: a response to an email….
“Hey Laila, why don’t you blog anymore?
Because I’m tired…tired of preaching to the choir.
Because I still believe that in politics its important to do what is right…not just what’s politically expedient ( hey Trudeau, that includes you- you never mentioned real change only referred to your socks..)
Because that isn’t what’s happening right now.
Because I see too many on the left still willing to turn a blind eye to the failings of their own parties-we expect it from the right,show how you are different.
Because that last reason is exactly how and why the BC Libs became so arrogant and corrupt.
Because too many either still don’t see how their own behavior turns people off of politics completely or pushes them away…or they do and still persist.
Because there are so many issues still dividing progressives & it upsets me to see good people torn down by those they fought beside for years because they dared to break rank.
Because if the left can’t get it together in a big way we will see more Doug Fords.
Because good mla’s accept the whip when they know it is wrong.And it heightens cynicism.Which keeps people from voting & also gives us more Doug Fords.
Because people think others should do the heavy lifting but don’t want to put themselves out there.
Because I feel like after a decade of blogging and columns I couldn’t make a dent in the adversarial,toxicly partisan nature of politics that makes people tune out and not vote.
Because most people still fail to understand their vote is tremendously powerful and the only way to stop the Trumps & Fords of this world.
Because it isn’t that I stopped caring,but cared so much about all of this that it made me sick.
Because everyone has a limit…and I finally reached mine…”
I’ve been gone a long time. Following the site c decision and into the new year,I struggled with Raynauds flare ups far worse than in previous winters,and to top it off, my hair started falling out…in large amounts after the site c decision. Tests were inconclusive as to why but in the end stress is one trigger for raynauds..and for hair loss as well. It finally stopped after a couple months but not before taking shitty heart meds,many tears and yes,cutting bangs one day in frustration to try and hide the thinning.
In learning to deal with stress I have learned I don’t actually ‘deal’ with it. I internalize it & ignore it and that is not without physical and mental repercussions.I had to learn to let go of what I could not fix..and I am still learning.It’s a conscious daily effort.But what I do know is I can’t do politics anymore. It’s an exercise in futility and it took a toll on my health I am no longer willing to pay.
I’m doing much better-new hair is an inch long and mixing in well with the rest.I’m happy not following politics other than what friends post. I still have opinions and moments where outrage bubbles up but I take a breath,rant a moment to my friends and then let it go…phew..
Todays news of Anthony Bourdains suicide is devastating though,and this piece struck home. https://medium.com/@snarkysteff/the-burden-of-being-bourdain-737f08fecb3e
I’m thinking a lot right now of a woman I told off a few months ago. Bourdain had come up in conversation and she railed against him because he didn’t “do enough” about the situations he saw in the world.
Really? And how does one “do enough”? How does one shine the spotlight on all things while trying to fix them too? It’s impossible. Some of us are meant to hold the mirror, and others are meant to get in there and tinker. Bourdain was a mirror-holder. He did it so well. So many of us learned more about the world around us, and shattered our illusions, thanks to mirrors held by the likes of Bourdain.
Yet someone like that woman can’t understand that the best someone like me or Bourdain can do is to keep pointing out how this situation hasn’t improved with modernity, it’s still there, it needs fixing.
And maybe, in the end, what got Bourdain is the futility of repeating the message. The fatigue of being demanded to do more, and the hopelessness of knowing he couldn’t…”
I’m a mirror-holder too,not anywhere near the way that Anthony Bourdain was.Not even close.But here at home in BC, in my own small way I held that damn mirror up to show what I think is wrong…is still wrong…but no one wanted to look in the mirror.
I get these passages( please read the whole piece) and while I thankfully have never suffered from depression or felt suicidal...I don’t want to ever end up like this either
So, it’s your turn now-it’s time for a new chapter in my life. You have the tools to hold elected officials accountable,the most powerful tool being your vote.
The BC Liberals have zero credibility on nearly every single issue they try to act sanctimonious about in opposition,so use this as your starting point.It was their policies or lack thereof over 16 years that made BC a money laundering hub,that gave corporate donors free reign,and decimated both BC’s education system and social services. Never forget.
That doesn’t mean you can sit back and relax now though.While good changes have been made under the NDP,alarming ones have too,like this: https://www.google.ca/amp/vancouversun.com/opinion/op-ed/ben-parfitt-british-columbians-shortchanged-billions-from-fossil-fuel-industry-revenues/amp
Largely ignored in the outrage over JT’s stupidest move ever in buying out the pipeline,it’s something you need to watch.Concealing royalties? Why?
You need to question this.The BC Liberals arrogance grew to astronomical proportions largely in part because their supporters allowed it to flourish. They turned a blind eye to all of it because they wanted to stay in power.
Don’t. Do. That. Ndp or Green..don’t do that. Ok? Being loyal to your party should never mean accepting questionable or outright terrible policy,nor should it mean turning a blind eye to egregious actions like deleting emails…
So this is it my friends. Before I go…thank you. Thank you for more than a decade of being here.For the comraderie,the friendships made,the stories shared…take care of you and yours. Be kind. Love well.
PS: Rip? You got this✊
*In light of the recent events & because I have always been a mental health advocate,I’m posting this info below. Someone you know may be struggling and may not be able to reach out.This may help you…or them. If you are in crisis,please call one of the numbers below. You do matter. 🙏
** Also, if I see something I think you need to pay attention to I will add it to the comments below as needed.